Top 10 Challenge update

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I had planned on writing this week about the struggles of avoiding the Top Ten allergens for these last ten days of February, but as it turns out it’s not proving to be a struggle at all.

For the last couple of weeks, I’ve been experiencing what seems like an ulcerative colitis flare. Could be due to the virus du jour making the rounds at work, could be due to the ibuprofen I was prescribed for a shoulder sprain, could be both or something completely different. Prednisone made things better for a while, but as soon as I went off the steroids, things got worse. I’m scheduled for a scope tomorrow to find out what’s going on.

In any event, I’ve been on an extremely limited diet because:

  1. Nausea and no appetite
  2. Abdominal pain
  3. Pretty much everything shoots through me like grease through a goose. With blood.

The only time I ran up against one of the Top 10 allergens was last night, when I was making some chicken broth from scratch for my clear liquids diet today. I was tempted to use some mustard powder to spice it up, but alas! It’s on the list.

My current takeaway from this is that it’s REALLY easy to avoid peanuts, milk, tree nuts, fish, eggs, shellfish, wheat, soy, mustard, and sesame if you have a sick belly. If any of those ingredients give you a sick belly because you’re allergic to them (milk and soy, in my case), it’s even easier to cut them out.

Also, inflammatory bowel disease sucks.

I miss you, pizza.

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Things I miss with food allergies:

  • Cheddar cheese with tart apples.
  • PIZZA, for god’s sake.
  • Milkshakes.
  • Chinese/Japanese takeout.
  • Did I mention pizza?

Food is very much a social thing, and there is a stigma in not eating what everybody else is eating. Whether its a family get-together, hanging out with friends, or a work potluck, you get funny looks when you politely decline something that’s offered.

Today, a coworker was marveling at my strength of will in avoiding the cookies someone had left in the break room. He admired my dedication to healthy eating, as evidenced by my beautiful salad of endive, radicchio, pears, pistachios, and a splash of vinaigrette. He kind of shrugged and smirked when I said it wasn’t worth the risk for me to chow down on the cookies.

I didn’t go into the details: if there’s dairy, eggs from chickens fed on soy, soybean oil, etc., one cookie will cause a lot of pain for two or three minutes of oral enjoyment. Hur Hur Hur.

The thing about avoiding food allergens is that you have to be honest with yourself, always. You can’t eat processed foods without risking an allergen; you always have to check the ingredient list and hope its accurate. You can’t have a cheat day and eat stuff you’re allergic to unless you’re willing to pay for a trip to the emergency room.

It’s good for forcing you to cook from scratch. I’m getting good at making my own salad dressings.

For the last ten days of February, I’m doing the Top Ten Challenge to raise awareness of food allergies (and funds for food allergy research via the Canadian Allergy, Asthma, and Immunology Foundation). I’m cutting out ten ingredients that are common allergens: peanuts, milk, tree nuts, fish, eggs, shellfish, wheat, soy, mustard, and sesame.

Please consider joining me in this challenge, or donate at https://www.top10challenge.ca/eve-sullivan/.

MERCH!

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Kylo Ren telling Rey she needs a new shirt from Redbubble, probably.
YOU REALLY DO!

We’ve added some new designs to the fine merchandise available at our Redbubble store. Go get yourself a t-shirt as worn by these very convincingly human-looking models below; all proceeds go to supporting Meade’s catnip addiction.

  • Artificer Class T
  • Hello, My Class is Cleric
  • Dragonborn
  • Wizard Class T
  • Hello, My Class is Fighter
  • Bard Class T
  • Waterdeep Mage’s Guild
  • I Cast Magic Missile
  • Priestess of the Spider Queen

MOAR MERCH BELOW:

Sometimes it’s easier to just not eat.

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2019 was the year I learned that I had an allergy to soy and milk.  

 In retrospect, I realize I’ve been having reactions to soy for at least 15 years.  I think this was masked by my struggles with ulcerative colitis.  Once that was clearly in remission and I was still having problems, my gastroenterologist sent me to an immunologist for allergy testing.

I had two misconceptions when I met with the immunologist.  1) I thought as an adult that I was too old to develop a food allergy. 2) I also didn’t know a milk allergy was different from lactose intolerance.

So yeah, you can develop food allergies as an adult.  In me, these manifest mainly as abdominal pain, diarrhea, and nausea, with occasional rashes/hives – which why was it was difficult to separate from ulcerative colitis until the UC was in remission.

And lactose intolerance is COMPLETELY different from a milk allergy.  The former involves a missing enzyme, gas and bloating; the latter involves an immune reaction to the proteins in milk.

But I still find myself wanting to test just how allergic am I to this stuff, like maybe the diagnosis was wrong. 

  • Like, maybe a vinaigrette made with soybean oil wouldn’t be a problem? WRONG! 
  • I tried a single piece of agedashi tofu, and really I could have just deposited it directly in the toilet and saved myself the pain.   
  • Maybe my favorite plain yogurt is safe? NOPE.
  • Or a tiny bit of  butter and Parmesan on pasta? Definitely not. 
  • I can’t stomach anything made with cow milk, goat milk or sheep milk.
  • Even eggs from chickens given soy feed are out of the question.

So it’s not easy eating with food allergies. I don’t get fast food anymore, because soy oil is ubiquitous. I don’t trust packaged/processed food even with ingredient lists and allergen warnings. I spent most of the last holiday cooking everything from scratch because even though it takes more time, it’s less painful than the alternative.

Sometimes I feel like it’s simpler to just not eat, which isn’t really a healthy mindset. I’m working on that.

ANYWAY, I’m doing this Top Ten Challenge in February 2020 to raise awareness of food allergies (and funds for food allergy research via the Canadian Allergy, Asthma, and Immunology Foundation).

Details: For the last ten days of February, 2020 (February 20-29, 2020), I’ll add a few more allergens (10 total!) to the list of stuff I can’t eat:

  1. peanuts
  2. milk
  3. tree nuts
  4. fish
  5. eggs
  6. shellfish
  7. wheat
  8. soy
  9. mustard
  10. sesame

I really want everyone to know the difficulties of life with food allergies, but seriously, you don’t have to cut out all ten to walk in my shoes. Please join me in this challenge, or donate at https://www.top10challenge.ca/eve-sullivan/

Dairy and Soy Allergy – “Safe” Fast Food

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As an adult recently diagnosed with a dairy and soy allergy (on top of ulcerative colitis and mastocytic enterocolitis, and environmental allergies to just about every tree and grass growing in California), I’ve had a hell of a time modifying my diet. Here at the start of things, I see soy is hiding in a lot more places than you would expect. (C’mon… wheat bread? really? why does that need soy?!) It’s proving a challenge to do weekly meal planning for a family of four that excludes BOTH ingredients. But it’s good to think about what exactly it is I’m shoving in my mouth.

"Edamame" photograph by Zesmerelda at https://www.flickr.com/photos/48889116659@N01/1231786582 (CC BY-SA 2.0 license)
NO MORE TASTY SOYBEANS FOR ME.

This week I reached my limit just figuring out breakfast and dinner for the week and completely gave up on planning lunches for myself other than a head of lettuce and some soy-free vinaigrette. I thought it would be easy to find some quick workday lunch options at local restaurants, but boy was I wrong. NOT EVEN SALAD IS SAFE. Soy and milk ingredients pop up in burger buns, too! So I’ve been working on a list of “safe” options at local fast food joints near work.

TL;DR? Go for the Fresco Menu at Taco Bell.

Burger King

  • Classic Grilled Dog
  • Chicken Nuggets
  • Chicken Fries
  • Hash Browns
  • French Fries
  • Applesauce

Carl’s Jr.

  • Kid’s Hamburger
  • Natural Cut Fries
  • CrissCut Fries
  • Hash Brown Nuggets

In and Out

  • Protein Style with mustard & ketchup instead of spread
  • French Fries
  • That’s it. No more milkshakes.

Jack in the Box

  • Side Salad
  • Low Fat Balsamic Vinaigrette Dressing (does contain soybean oil)
  • Spicy Corn Sticks
  • French Frieds
  • Onion Rings
  • Potato Wedges
  • Seasoned Curly Fries
  • Stuffed Jalapenos
  • Hash Brown

Taco Bell

  • Hashbrown
  • Cinnamon Twists
  • Fresco Bean Burrito
  • Fresco Burrito Supreme – Chicken
  • Fresco Burrito Supreme – Steak
  • Fresco Soft Taco – Shredded Chicken
  • Fresco Soft Taco – Steak
  • Black Beans
  • Black Beans & Rice
  • Chips and Guacamole
  • Chips and Pico de Gallo
  • Chips and Salsa
  • Seasoned Rice
  • Border Sauce – Diablo

Wendy’s

  • Jr Hamburger / Kids’ Hamburger
  • Spicy Chicken Nuggets
  • Crispy Chicken Nuggets
  • Spicy Chicken Sandwich
  • Homestyle Chicken Sandwich

The main takeaway here is that Taco Bell is the real winner if you want variety in your Soy-and-Dairy-Free fast food. Their Fresco menu is generally touted as among the best lower calorie options for fast food chains. (I really wish more table-service restaurants included ingredient/allergen information with their menus, though.)

Intellectual discourse.

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You can blame (or credit) Sam Sykes for inspiring this exchange I had with my twin today.

Lillith
hey
sup fartlord
should I call u fartlord
or is fartlady more appropriate

Eve
❤
you may call me the Dark Queen of Farts
Dark Queen of Fart

Lillith
Darkfartqueen

Eve
XVDarkFartQueenVX

Lillith
drk

Eve
yes
yes yes

Lillith
XvDrkFartQueenvX
XxQueenFarterxX

Eve
XCashForFartsX

Lillith
XDrkFartX

Eve
XDrkFarterX

Lillith
VvDrkFrankFartervV
::FARTS::

Feeling queasy.

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It seems like my ulcerative colitis isn’t really under good control right now, so I have another colonoscopy (with all the preparatory joy that entails) scheduled for next week.

Anyway, contemplating my health, my twin came up with a new Lilism. She texted me with this ditty while I was in the loo; I thought it was great, so I almost immediately reshared it on Twitter. (She wasn’t going to take credit for it on social media, but it worked out anyway. HA!)

Apologies to The Eagles.

Just say no to shrimp.

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Inspired by the headline “Scientists stumped as to why shrimp is testing positive for cocaine” – a Lilism to the tune of Just to Get High, by Nickelback.

He was a Brit Shrimp
swole up like A Blimp
ODd on everything
like ketamine
when sewers overflowed
Shrimp ate the cocaine
from waters leak-ain’
he did the party drugs
with shrimpy thugs
and then some tramadole
But I can still remember what that shrimp looked like
WHEN I FOUND HIM IN THE SEWER IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIIIIIIIIGHT

2019 is turning out to be a really weird year.

Worldbuilding with Lilisms

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This discussion happened while I was brainstorming a new monster idea with my twin.

Lillith
a thought train resembles Thomas the Tank Engine with a brain in its face and set on bestial clawed wheels

Eve
DERAIL! DERAIL!

Lillith
lolol
WELCOME TO MY NIGHTMARE

Lillith
wait
wait
you know how a drider is a drow with the body of a spider
how about a drasp, a drow with the body of a wasp

Eve
that’s horrible

Lillith
OR BETTER YET
A DRWASP
A DWARF

Eve
no no <aloud: NO, NO!>

Lillith
WITH THE BODY OF A WASP
A DWASP
SAY IT

Eve
<aloud, slowly: dwaaasp -ogod>

Lillith
Duuhh-wasp
alskjdgha’y8

Eve
NO
IT FAILS THE “SAY IT FIRST” test

Lillith
Yes
yes yES YES

Eve
god damn it lillith

Lillith
oh GOD GUYS IT’S A DWASP
RUN
IT WILL STING OUR ANKLES

Eve
god damn it stop

Lillith
AND THEN WE WILL HAVE SWOLLEN PREGNANT LADY CANKLES

Eve
DINT NAJEHTAWET
DO NOT MAKE ME COME OVER THERE

Lillith
IT MAY HAVE FAILED THE SAY IT FIRST TEST BUT IT PASSED THE DINT NAJEHTAWET TEST

Wherein Eve learns new words.

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It’s always beneficial to expand one’s vocabulary. With that in mind, I would refer my readers to this wonderful Wikipedia article:
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Finnish_profanity

I could work several of these into everyday conversation:

  • Mitä helvettiä = What the hell?
  • Painu hiiteen = Go to hell.
  • Hitto = Damn.
  • Molopää = Dickhead
  • Vittu tätä paskaa = Fuck this shit.

My absolute favorite is “perkele,” mostly because it’s fun to roll them Rrrrrrrs. It’s also the only Finnish swear word my mother taught me. The wiki article notes: “When used to express discontent or frustration, perkele often suggests that the speaker is determined to solve the problem, even if it will be difficult. It is associated with sisu, which in turn is an iconic Finnish trait. “

Acknowledging the occasionally dubious accuracy of Wiki articles, Finnish profanity is a wonderful rabbit hole to fall into, full of new and interesting phrases with great literal translations.

"Winter and Snow - Finland/Oulu" by Mika Kangas
When you’re up to your ears in snow, you need a good vocabulary to express your dismay with the situation.