Let me tell you how much I appreciate you spending “Christmas” with “your family,” particularly when that family doesn’t involve your wife. Your reasoning that this is somehow justified because I celebrate a secular holiday on the solstice instead of a religious holiday on December 25 is crystal-clear. I can calmly accept that you and “your family” choose to celebrate the birth of Christ on the 25th, even though you personally have been confirmed in no religion and scorn spiritual faith.
Allow me to also convey how joyous it makes me that you and your father took my daughter up to the snow today, even though she has a cold and was literally coughing all night, even when I asked you not to every day for the last three days. Despite your bull-headed disregard of my concerns, I had hopes that she would have a great time and wouldn’t get any sicker from your single-minded, self-centered focus on forcing a “traditional Christmas” down her throat.
Thus, it totally made my day when you came home more than an hour past Aya’s bedtime and told me she’d just thrown up in the car. That was precisely what I wanted to hear. I was even more thrilled to learn that you have no idea if this resulted from car sickness, too much mucus in her stomach, or if she “ate something that disagreed with her” — which, by the way, is usually called food poisoning. Your vague answers about what my daughter ate and how long it had been left out were very comforting to me and impressed me with your sense of responsibility.
Also, while you left the front door open and unloaded bag after bag of junky toys from your father’s car, we had a merry time shivering in the bathroom. The draft was delightfully chill and refreshing. I marveled at your considerate nature while peeling sodden clothes off a chilled, red-eyed, exhausted and trembly little girl.
I am looking forward to a similarly cheerful “Christmas” with you next year. Perhaps we should consider handling all significant holidays in a similar manner. You could spend birthdays, Valentine’s Day, Independence Day, Halloween, and even your wedding anniversary with “your family.” Doesn’t that sound like fun?
Sarcastically,
Your Wife
P.S. I’m sorry I’m “sick all the time” now and can’t drive our daughter to the snow for you. While I really enjoy the way my immune system attacks the lining of my gut, what with the pain and inconvenience, I thought it was enough that I was able to hold down two or three jobs — since you refuse to work, and all. I do see an obvious solution there: man up and learn to drive in the snow yourself, instead of relying on your father.
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