If you don’t like what you see here…*
Aug 14th, 2008 by Eve
I have a few comments about all the complaints about blogs in the No Swimming - Keep Out discussion at Dragon’s Mark.
First. If anyone has a specific complaint about me or my blog** – and I’ve seen a couple oh-so-charming indirect references in that thread already – I would appreciate it if you’d comment, IM, email or PM me with your specific concerns. Because when your concerns are limited to vague, narcissistic complaints where you won’t name names or specifics (or can’t, because of the Dragon’s Mark forum’s guidelines about identifying specific situations or people), I can’t even try to fix it.
And if you’re not actually interested in fixing specific and personal, private problems, I have to question why you’re using a public message forum to vent and whinge, instead of, you know, a personal web journal or blog. Pot, kettle, black.
I find it troubling that there is a cadre of people who believe the best way to deal with problems involving other roleplayers is either keep it to yourself or to confront the source directly, but at all costs avoid public discussion, blog posts, or even private discussions with your friends about your problems. The reasoning for this is that your “friends” might get irritated with your complaining. Or they might go gossip to someone else. How utterly high school! And here I thought it was normal for people to discuss their problems with their friends to get feedback or advice in sticky situations! We must be living in different worlds.
Also, instead of sharing concerns with friends or starting open discussions on blogs or forums, it is being suggested that “if you don’t like the way someone does something, ignore it, or talk to them, kindly.” Yet applying that mantra to the above-referenced thread would blank nearly the whole discussion! All four to five pages of that gloriously anonymous emotastic Negative Nancy sniping would be reduced to gentle private messages or sheer silence.
One could hope! But it will never happen, because it’s sooo much easier to make sweeping generalizations, vague complaints and personal attacks. Obviously it’s all good as long as you’re super sneaky and don’t name names.
I suggest that if you don’t like the way someone does something, that’s ok. You don’t have to like everything. Or everyone. Or anyone! We don’t all have to agree with each other. We don’t all have to get along with each other. Take responsibility for your own emotions and deal with what you don’t like in your own way, whether that’s venting at your friends, posting on your blog, getting on with your life, calling your shrink, bottling it up inside until you you’re a puking, whimpering mess, or even discussing it on some public forum. Do what works for you – but don’t expect that to work for everyone else.
And if you (yes, YOU) are going to be a sanctimonious prig, at least TRY to make an effort to practice what you preach.
Hypocrisy? Hippo crazy?
Image Credit: “funny-pictures-tmi-hippo-splatter-zone” by marvins_dad at Flickr (Creative Commons Attribution)
*Title inspired by Extreme.
**If you think I’m mean and cruel and that my journal is boring, you could be right! However, I think it’s great that YOU are reading it anyway. Thanks for driving up my page rank and subscriber counts! You’re amazing!
I don’t have a problem with your blog because I can see what you write and respond to it.
I have a complaint about your blog.
IT NEEDS MOAR COWBELL.
But yeah, I looked at that thread, and I think there are some very unhappy and possibly unhealthy people who are sure all life’s sadness and injustice is someone else’s fault.
Yay! Count me in as part of your Members Only Club!
If I knew that people would come to me and discuss things like adults, I might actually be more willing to post my thoughts and opinions publicly.
This whole…Issue about people whining about what I discuss with my friends and whatever I want to write on my corner of the internet bugs me.
I try to own up to what I write and say to those that matter to me. I cannot, nor will not care or explain myself to people who I have never talked to before, do not know and so on. Nor would I expect anyone to have to. It makes no sense.
To the rest–they know how to contact me, via PM or email or IM.
They neeeever do contact tho’ :p
No issues from me. I make a point to stay out of the political side of things as much as I possibly can. Both IC and OOC, I do my level best to treat everyone the way I would want to be treated. I would hope that the friends I have made playing this game would do me the courtesy to smack me upside the metaphorical head if I do something I should not be doing.
[...] This has been a rather huge topic of discussion on Dragon’s Mark, the creative writing and role-play site I own. We have an area for players to talk about a variety of topics, and one of most active in quite awhile is titled No Swimming - Keep Out - and is primarily about how folks treat others, be it on blogs, in chat rooms, or in gossiping with others. And the discussion has spilled over on to at least a few other players blogs that I’m aware of… such as Obviously Pink and If you don’t like what you see here…* [...]