life in the garden of eden.

You Are 16% Shy

You aren’t shy at all, in fact, you’re probably quite outgoing. You are comfortable in almost any social situation, no matter how difficult.

I was terribly shy as a child, blushing under any attention, speaking quietly only when required, burying my nose in books whenever possible. I started to come out of my shell after spending several years in martial arts, but still struggled with painful shyness up until my last year of high school, when I finally got all of my college prep classes out of the way and could focus on electives. While introverts generally suffer in a world where extroversion is rewarded, I learned that introversion was expected and even welcomed in creative endeavors, and writing, music, drama and art chipped away at my bashful mantle.

After I learned to enjoy having an audience, I spent a couple of years making up for lost time by being loud, obnoxious, flirtatious and occasionally outrageous - but those are tales for a different day.

I still perceive myself as someone who is at the core, an introvert. When I look in the mirror, I see someone who is too shy. Despite my Type A arrogance (confidence!), I’m reserved in nature. I still blush when spoken to (damn my fair skin). I’m not as assertive as I should be. I prefer solitude over crowds.

So, the prospect of spending several hours socializing with strangers - particularly strangers I know only from their online personas - should make me pause a bit, if not leave me downright uneasy and anxious. It doesn’t. I no longer feel much trepidation about those kinds of encounters. I actually look forward to new situations now, to meeting strangers and finding out what I have in common with people I know nothing (or very little) about.

Obviously my self-perception is flawed.  This realization came as no surprise to my twin, who still sees me as generally loud, obnoxious, and outrageous. Of course, she knows me better than I know myself.

Tags: shy